Wedding gift-how much are you worth?

I'm intrigued to write about this issue after seeing a local celebrity who is a long time millionaire,giving his new bride only RM 3000 as the wedding gift.He said he give all of his true heart and love as the wedding gift.In Malay culture, a wedding gift is a must along with the mahar,which usually consist of cash and lavish gifts such as jewelery,expensive handbags and shoes,mobile phone,expensive cosmetics,sweets such as cakes and gourmet chocolate.There is even a girl with wedding gift of RM444,444.44 and mahar of RM22,222.22,divorce after a year.Now,I understand in some culture like arab and pakistan,this amount is normal,but not to our culture.

Example of wedding gift

Example of wedding gift

Generally,there are 4 types of bride

1)The humble bride-I conclude this is the people with wedding gift of Rm10,000 or less
2)The standard figure bride-Anything between RM10,000 to RM 20,000
3)The proud and show off bride-ridiculous figure and love to play with number with a symbolic excuse
4)The secret bride-will not tell the amount

Expensive mahar has become such a trend in our community lately.Its like a symbol of pride among new bride.The higher the better.It seems that these type of people is so proud to announce "their value".To read about new bride getting wedding money/gift with preferable and extraordinary number as they claim-RM 77,777, RM 33,333.33,RM 11,111.11,makes me grasp for breath.As if their other lavish wedding gift is not enough for them

Now I'm opposed to this idea of exorbitant money .Its becoming a trend and its not healthy at all.It cause riak.(رياء). It cause influence among other bride to be.It's burdening the future husband and cause them to borrow here and there.Its not good to start a new life together with debts.It cause the man to think twice to get marry and makes some of them delaying marriage ,involve sin with their partner.It really doesn't matter how much money your future husband have,but as a Malay I think we should always preserve our humble sifat,right?A low mahar doesn't make us less valuable.In Rasullullah hadis from Aisyah,The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) have said: "The most blessed marriage is the one with the least expenditure".(Hadis riwayat Al-Baihaqiy)

From Aisyah,The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The blessing of a woman is in making her engagement easy and in making her dowry affordable."(Hadis riwayat Al-Baihaqiy)

The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) told a poor companion may Allaah be pleased with him who was poor and did not have anything to give as a dowry to his wife: "Give her even a ring of iron."(Hadis riwayat Bukhari)

Imam al-Shafi’e narrated in his book al-Umm from Abu Yahyah that he said: 'I asked Imam Rabeeah about the minimum Mahr, he said, any amount that is agreed on by both parties. I said, ‘If it is only a Dirham?’ He said, ‘Even if it is half a Dirham.’ Then I said, ‘If it is less than that,’ he said, ‘yes, even if it is a handful wheat or a seed of wheat’.

In the time of Rasullullah S.A.W,there's even a poor man who give ayat quran as the mahar for his bride.How noble is that.

I think we should educate our people,that instead of giving the customary RM80 mahar,why not we raise the mahar value and lower down the wedding gift

I know of 2 Malaysian celebrities with a humble wedding money.Zahnita,a famous model and part time actress,married few years ago with a wedding money of RM5,000.She said her wedding day was such a blessing that people that come in to her wedding give them money(a traditional practice to donate money to the host) that can buy her a Proton Gen 2 car(approximately RM55,000 ) and Alhamdulillah this girl living happily with her husband and a baby girl

Zahnita modelling at Islamic fashion festival IFF kuala lumpur

Zahnita modelling at Islamic fashion festival IFF kuala lumpur

Another one is Norman of KRU.Being a big boss in big entertainment production,he is determine to not marry the glam and glitzy local celebrities,and choose to end his bachelor life with a women older than him(following sunnah) ,and giving her only RM3000 as the wedding gift.

I really hope that the sister out there will stay humble and not burden your partner when it comes to the wedding issue.The whopping amount spend will not guarantee our happines and continuity of our marriage.Whats important is the blessing that we got from our marriage.If since earlier the value of the wedding is benchmark by money,what hope have we got?